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Health / Body

“HELL, anytime your toenails turn black they fall off!”
“i can’t believe you have a cut”
“no czechs allowed”
“i’m having hot flashes. i’m not supposed to get those anymore. i don’t have a uterus”
“jon grew breasts and beer gills”
“if i were the smallest big girl…”
“you close your eyes, you hold your breath, you plug your nose, they’re all gone”
“i’d have no anxiety about that”
“you have a BIG ASS”
“I feel like I shoulda got my period 20 years ago, and it’s not comin’”
“someone released one”
“i wish i could take off my shirt”
“i wish i could take off my shirt”
“I feel dirty”
“she HAS lost weight”
“i’m sorry wardell, but you have a fine ass”
“i want to volunteer, but i don’t want to give blood”
“it hurt in my stomach, i wanted to leave”
“my insides are turning inside out ‘cause i’m gonna fucking die right now”
“do you have any gum? my breath is awful”
“i smell yeast. it must be my burp”
“my butt’s starting to hurt”
“i am so much more disgusting than you are right now”
“he didn’t need those leg hairs though”
“i’m so happy i stopped sweating”
“yeah, she DID have a fucked up face”
“she did have ‘the weird face’”
“what are those things that stick out? bones?”
“yours don’t look big though. yeah, ‘cause my head’s fuckin’ huge”
“he’s like all sandy. i know…”
“i kneed your ass. why? i kneed your ass. why? NO! he KNEED your ass. why? NO! WITH HIS KNEE! oh.”
“i’m gonna stink…all night now”
“i shaved my legs real fast and now they’re bloody”
“this poor knee has been through so much”
“big teeth..did you see ‘em?”
“she’s skinny too”
“dude, it's good for your bones and teeth”
“you just gotta burp it all out”
“i could be like...hey, nice parts”
“i was surprised i felt so calmly about it”
“all head. no body”
“i can’t believe my scar is bothering me”
“for the longest time my dimple was gone”
“i just want to sweat a little more if that’s ok with everyone”
“honey, my hands are always sweaty & gross”
“jon’s eyes are so distant”
“weird, terrible awful deaths”
“i can’t feel ears”
“oh, i thought they found the bodies”
“it’s not ‘cause i want everyone to say, ‘ooh, look at my penis.’”
“get up off your knees”
“he said, ‘screw your liver, do you wanna write?’”
“did you get your muff wet?”
“holy fucking bitch, you broke your fucking leg”
“come on…everybody’s sensitive about YOU…don’t teeth to me right now”
“can i tell you guys? i have a headache because my hat’s on too tight!”
“anybody else wish they had underwear on?”
“my feet are gross to you now”
“ouch, i have an ouchie”
“i wish i shaved my knees”
“we grew gills”
“I can’t believe he’s dead”
“her and her abdomen just walkin’ around”
“she was crazy! she had a baby”
“she started with legs...they fell off!”
“you look sorta’ special”
“you’re sweating”
“so, why is your ass swollen?”
“no, i think i have a good looking ass”
“those aren’t endurance muscles, man, those are strength”
“feel his calves”
“fuck me-i said gout”
“i love my period all over my fucking shorts. Yuck”
“only two for now! my tampon allowance”
“stupid OB tampons...ok, so maybe OB tampons aren't that bad”
“ok, so now that i acted like i know everything about the menstrual cycle...”
“you couldn’t have a waxing & do any better than those”
“i don’t like THAT kind of smell”
“steel wool pussy”
“coming down with crabs. you don’t really come down withcrabs—you either get ‘em or you don’t.”
“there’s another person on crutches”
“they were black & blue & swollen”
“she had her period again—she ALWAYS has her period”
“…waiting for her to tinkle or whatever”
“just like naked feet contact”
“and i have a really good sense of smell—like no one else”
“well, i don’t really have any weird senses of anything”
“oh, that was my foot…oh, but that was your lap”
“what? birth control? No.”
“have you ever seen my weird vein?”
“get down there! i don’t stink! smell it!”
“i discovered it’s more than just the lips”
“who’s going to take care of me when i’m old?”
“you look cute. i don’t feel cute.”
“you know my shoulder blades flip out… yeah, you have weird shoulder blades.”
“you’ve seen my bush”
“this guy’s on roids. do you mean steroids? yeah.”
“i found out how urine is made; how poop is made; how babies are made.”
“she knew she had the crossed eyes.”
“they put holes in the walls with my head”
“we been waitin’ for that blonde bombshell”
“i don’t mean to be rude, but her calf was as big as my…waist”
“do you cut your own hair?”
“she’d smell her own breath”
“i don’t wanna hear you throw up”
“chris! what does amy sound like when she throws up?”
“you don’t have to put her down if you don’t want to”
“if I could wear diapers I would never leave the couch”
“i was sitting on this -- it hurt”
“‘member, i was lookin’ for that thing on my hand. did you find it?no”
“it’s oozin’!”
“are you feeling your stomach? yeah, sorry”
“our cheeks have stopped glistening”
“flex! flex! flex! she’s just kissin’”
“oh! oh! oh! oh! i touched my lips to it”
“we washed each other’s hands. SHUT UP.”
“he is so blind”
“james & the giant prostate”
“i wish you could say that to my crabs”
“until i started passing the anoerxia along with flying colors”
“speaking of your knees….”
"makin' the face kris makes when she's smelling her breath."
"you're just a little thing"
“i have cleavage. is anybody writing this down?”
“you are too hysterical for me right now.”
“i was so depressed -- i cried”